Hello my dear friends,
We have Covid. The storm that’s been raging out there, that we’ve spent two years trying to keep out, finally blew down the door last week. The first thing I did, while my husband was ill, was to batch cook and order extra food. Now I’m spending a lot of time on the sofa with our feverish son. I’m taking it one day at a time, grateful for the health that we do have.
Like any period of illness it’s a pause. We’ve stepped into a space somewhere to the side of the timeline. These spaces can often give us a new perspective on things, they come with the gift of time to think and feel – which I have been doing a lot of.
I’ve thought about the world, I’ve thought about the virus and possible other viruses to come, I’ve thought about the war and I’ve thought about the climate. And what I’ve realised – yet again – is that it’s impossible to take anything for granted. We can’t know what the future will hold, we don’t even know how many weeks and months and years we have left.
The thought appeared in my mind the other day: “What if I only have five years left, what if I only have ten years left”. It wasn’t a scary thought, it wasn’t an anxious thought, it was an interesting and abstract problem. What would I do? What would I choose?
I know it’s not an original thing to ask, it’s the sort of question that can and has been used by everyone from buddhist monks and self-help gurus. I’ve thought about it before, but never perhaps, as seriously.
It focuses the mind. It helps to cut away the bullshit, the stuff that’s actually not worth doing. It brings me back to what I know I value, what I know gives me the most joy, it brings me back to family. Spending time with the people I love is the most valuable way of using the time I have. I know that and yet, it’s good to be reminded of it sometimes.
– Photo by Nikolas Noonan on Unsplash
I wish you and your family a quick recovery. We really can’t take anything for granted.